The educator must believe in the potential power of his pupil,
and he must employ all his art in seeking to bring his pupil
to experience this power. Alfred Adler

The Magic of Encouragement

The word encouragement comes from a French word meaning to give heart to. It is easy to praise children who are behaving well, who earn awards, or who excel at school, but what do you say to your son when he is discouraged, has misbehaved, or is having a difficult day? Praise would be insincere; it is encouragement he needs.

Rudolf Dreikurs, MD, said, “Children need encouragement like a plant needs water.” More...

 Encouragement vs. Praise
"Give children lots of praise." This sounds like good parenting advice, but there is a difference between appropriate praise (encouragement) and inappropriate praise.
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"Self-esteem is the overall judgment of self...a sense of self-respect and self-worth...this is the core of the child's personality and determines the use he makes of his life." Alfred Adler

Fact

Many school self-esteem programs are built on offering praise, even if it is undeserved. A Washington student wrote “fffifit” on an assignment, attempting to spell the word “favorite.” The teacher praised him for “the creative expression of a feeling.” Teaching him to use the dictionary would have been a better choice. Feedback should always be honest and helpful.

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Punishment:
Do you want your child to cooperate with you because he/she is afraid of you or because he/she loves and respects you? Ask yourself, "Am I motivating my child through love or hate?"
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 Philosophy

The parenting course, "Redirecting Children's Behavior™ (RCB™)" was developed by Kathryn Kvols who is also the author of the book by the same name,  "Redirecting Children's Behavior." 

Kvols is also the founder of the International Network for Children and Families ( INCAF™.) All Redirecting Children's Behavior (RCB™) instructors are certified by INCAF.

At Sensible Parenting, we are proud to be affiliated with INCAF and to provide the RCB courses to our clients.

Kvols' RCB course and book are based upon the work of Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D., and Alfred Adler, M.D.  Because the RCB course is derived from the Adlerian approach, it is simple, yet profound. It provides one consistent parenting plan to guide parents with children from two years old to adulthood..

Rudolf Dreikurs was a protégé of Alfred Adler who translated Adler's theory into practical parenting tips and good advice for parents. Dreikurs is the author of the highly acclaimed book "Children: The Challenge" and other works.

Although pretty much everyone has heard the name Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler's name is not quite as well known to the common man. Alfred Adler, M.D. believed behavior is motivated by the need to belong, versus his contemporary, Sigmund Freud, who said our sexual needs influence people’s behavior.

Who was Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D.?

Rudolf Dreikurs' contribution to modern parenting theory was to create a common sense approach to teach parents to nurture the child’s spirit and share power in families. The benefits are many, including children that develop into teens who are capable, resilient and creative. Parents are calmer, more confident and able to sustain a harmonious home. They learn how to give up yelling, nagging and threatening.

A couple of the key concepts:

Adler and Dreikurs pioneered the use of natural and logical consequences, which is widely accepted as the most effective way to teach children to develop judgement.

The duo also introduced birth order as an influence on behavior because of its impact on how children find a way to belong in families.

Today, scores of psychologists and parenting educators espouse the Adlerian approach. Instead of relying on often conflicting parenting tips and advice, Adler’s approach provides one consistent foundation for parents to raise happy confident children who make good independent decisions when parents are not around.

Adler and Dreikurs espoused the use of encouragement, democratic family meetings, natural and logical consequences and mutual respect.

Dreikuers is very well known for his work with teachers for more productive classrooms. Parents may also benefit from understanding some of these techniques and how they may be applied by your chidlren's teachers.